Two new cars have sent the specialist motoring press into a squeaking frenzy of tinkle-clutching ecstasy. One is the Ford Focus RS, which, they say, is as good as a Nissan GT-R, for less than half the money. And the other is the car you can see pictured here: the BMW M2.
I'll be honest. I've yawned through their eulogies, thinking: "I'm sure the Ford is very good ... but only for people who can't actually afford a Nissan GT-R. And the BMW M2 is only very good for people who can't afford an M4."
As I climbed into the M2, then, my hackles were up. I wanted to scoff and scorn, and happily there was plenty to be disappointed about. The steering wheel was too big, the plastics were horrid and the seat was so high I felt as if I was sitting on the car rather than in it. And yes, while it costs considerably less than the M4, it's still 90 grand, which is a lot for a pumped-up version of the 1 Series.
But then, about an hour later, I was in a car park at the Chelsea versus Manchester City game. It was chock-full of Aston Martins and Range Rovers, as you'd expect, and yet somehow the little BMW didn't look out of place at all. It may be only a 1 Series in a muscle-man suit, but thanks to its flared wheel arches and the way the tyres seem to be stretched to breaking point to fit over the huge rims, it looks kinda cool. I liked it.
And then, three hours after that, I was going round a long left-hander at 110km/h and I thought: "Hang on a minute. This steering is absolutely bleeding fantastic." I wasn't taxing the car in any way at all; a Reliant Robin could have taken that bend at 110km/h with ease. And yet I could feel that the steering was weighted perfectly and that it was talking to me in a gentle whisper. And what makes that even more astonishing is that the power assistance is electric. Which means that the sensations were all artificial. If BMW ever makes a sex robot, you should buy one immediately, because it'll be indistinguishable from going to bed with an actual person.
The M2 is quick, too. Round the Hockenheim racetrack in Germany it's faster, apparently, than its bigger brothers. And that's because it's not just fast in a straight line but in the corners too. And not just fast, but a complete delight.
It's worth remembering at this point that while the M4 is extremely good, it is not perfect. It has a lot of electronic jiggery-pokery in the steering and suspension that in the M2 is gone. BMW's engineers set this car up to be as good as it can be, and you aren't given buttons to change anything. That's why the M2 is cheaper than the M4: because it's less complicated. And because it's less complicated, it is a better drive. Much better. It's so good that in a few bends I was actually dribbling with joy.
Thanks to a clever electromechanical differential, it can corner with its tail out like a Looney Tunes muscle car, or right on the raggedy edge of adhesion like a proper racer. It's brilliant at both disciplines. And you want to know the best bit? It's not in the least bit uncomfortable. Sure, it's stiff, but it never jars.
Away from the performance stuff, you get seats in the back that can actually be used by humans, plus a large boot.
And now it's time to get back to the performance stuff, with news that the M2 comes with a launch control system that permits what are called "smoky burnout" starts. Utterly pointless. You'll never use it. But it's fun to know you could.
There have been many M cars over the years. The lineage goes back to 1986 and the original M3, which many still regard as the best. I disagree; it was too racy, a twitching nightmare. I like the M3 before the present model, and I adore the current M6 Gran Coupe. And then there was the original M5, which looked like the sort of box that your chest freezer was delivered in, but it went like a spaceship. That's always been my favourite M car. Until now.
The road-testers were right. The M2 is a lot cheaper than the M4. And a lot better as well. It's a fabulous little car, and now I'm looking forward to getting my hands on a Focus RS. Which, apparently, is even better.
FAST FACTS
- BMW M2
- Engine: 3.0-litre turbocharged six-cylinder petrol (272kW/465Nm)
- Average fuel: 8.5 litres per 100km (7.9 auto)
- Transmission: Six-speed manual or seven-speed automatic, rear-wheel drive
- Price: From $89,900